Becoming My Own Home

Sometime ago as a novice teacher, I completed my teacher certification through an alternative route at NSU. It was a comprehensive program that prepared practitioners to not only be highly effective teachers, but also to commit to being lifelong learners. I have taken the latter so seriously that it has become one of my educational values. I am always seeking to learn-new curriculum, coaching strategies, how to adapt to varying communication styles, and how to go from being good to great in the field. I am currently learning new skills that are preparing me for an adjunct instructional coach role for a teacher certification program. Imagine that!

My commitment to life long learning doesn't end at 3:30pm. My family can attest that I don't know how to "turn it off." [That's a conversation for another day.]

Recently, I'm learning that I am on a mission to seek wisdom in my everyday life. Learning that won't result in an SPS score or successful SLT results, but learning that helps me to see myself more clearly.

If I had to describe life since blogging, the title would be "A Series of Unfortunate Decision Making". Most of those decisions were trauma responses, rooted in the need to make decisions quickly to avoid disrupting the lives of those closest to me. In reality, I did just the opposite.

I disrupted my own life.

Those disruptions exacerbated triggers that have had me spiraling. I can blame it on my generalized anxiety disorder or my unregulated sleep patterns; instead, I am learning to own the consequences of those decisions. I'm learning that grief isn't linear and that I can randomly break down or feel the joy of acceptance. And although I have been dealing with healing, it is no excuse to act in haste or impose on others.

So while I'm continuing on my journey of being a life long learner, I will be applying that mindset beyond the professional walls and integrating it into my personal life as well. I will take things slowly, forgive myself, plan my hours, and learn new ways to show up...for myself!