How Do You Like Your Eggs?

Random question, I know. But if you have watched or know the synopsis of the movie "The Runaway Bride", then this question may seem more familiar. Julia Roberts' character was nicknamed for her consistent wedding day altar jilting. It wasn't until much later, after deep self reflecting, that she realized that she wasn't running from the groom, but she was actually running from herself and her insecurities.

When we aren't sure of who we are at our core, we act out and our behavior shows up as rebellion, fear, or uncertainty. When we aren't sure what we want or value, we tend to conform to what's popular or expected. When we don't use our voice, we give power to those who benefit the most from our silence - most likely someone getting what they need without the responsibility of also meeting our needs.

I randomly self reflect when I find myself grieving what I've lost, the things/people I was attached to, or thinking about the what ifs. What if I had been less concerned about pleasing adults, what if I had said "this isn't enough for me", what if I had taken an extra semester off to heal...

This Facebook memory is a reminder of a pivotal time in my career. What seemed like a promotion was really just a highlight reel to disguise the fact that I had been removed from my role as principal. What came next were questions about how I could even stay, why not find another job, why are you wasting your talent...

To be honest, I stayed because I felt trapped. What would I do for income or benefits? I was still going to the doctor every three months, had a monthly prescription to fill, and bills to pay. I tried to fit a square peg in a round hole, and let's just say it didn't end well.

As I move into my new role as an Academic Diva, I will more confidently manage conflict. I will use my voice to advocate for my needs, and I will stand firm on my unpopular opinions. This is my nineteenth year as an educator, and if you've been reading my blogs, you know that nineteen was my favorite age. I'm claiming that this will be my favorite academic year!

I will do what it takes to ensure that I never have to settle and lose a part of myself again.

Because when given the option, I would substitute the eggs for hash browns anyway. :)