Power Hour

I've stated before that I began Train of Thought as a form of therapy; to write out my stories of shame, guilt, grief, success, honoring others, and celebration. Then I began the Beyond the Blog series, starting with The Life She Refused to Delete in an attempt to add fiction to a real life heartbreak story that I shared in the blog, "Broken Hearted City Girl." I had an unsuccessful attempt at making it exclusive and putting a price on my work although I must give credit to the six people who supported me and subscribed. I also used my blog site as a way to seek donations to my Soul Survivors group. Because of those donations, I was able to send a little love through the mail to the ladies in that community as well as pay for a virtual wellness session for our May meeting.

I have recently published Lipstick and Letdowns, another exclusive short story that is fictional, but the main character has traits that are common among the masses. This time, I decided that I would rather have zero new Beyond the Blog subscribers than to give free access to even one person. If you've poured your heart into something in a real way, then I'm sure you can understand why it's important to set boundaries with your work and creativity. A close friend told me to know my worth, but also take the focus off the number of subscribers and pray that if my writing touches at least one reader, then I have fulfilled my purpose. I agree ... but I also appreciate those who have helped me to monetize my writing. It helps me keep the site active each month, do something extra like add a design to a manicure, and it gives me a sense of pride for the work I've produced.

Every morning, I spend time with God. I've come to call this time my "Power Hour." Most mornings, it is actually an hour and sometimes I sleep through the hour-but I believe those are the mornings when God is being gracious and allowing me to rest in my sweet sleep.

During this time, I read, pray, worship, and sometimes share a word with the Soul Survivors and friends and family. This is also a time when God helps me to see myself, not as a victim but as an overcomer. He gives me guidance through the Holy Spirit, like starting Soul Survivors and making a very risky career decision. Specifically in reference to some blogs that I have published, He has shown me the blessing in my experiences as a way to be more discerning in the future. He has also placed the right people in my life to affirm what He is speaking to me in our private moments.

Please indulge me as I share some lessons through reflection and the voice of the Holy Spirit since publishing some very personal Thoughts.

"The Fired Principal"- I was a distracted principal at the time, focused on trying to maintain work friendships, being in love, and ignoring what my mind and body needed from experiencing the trauma of a breast cancer diagnosis. I did not perform at my best. But most importantly, God knew that if I wasn't removed, I would have continued to operate in that dysfunction that did not serve students well.

"Broken Hearted City Girl"- I did not guard my heart in a healthy way. I exaggerated my place in someone's life because they said or did the "right" things based on the kind of the trauma experienced in previous relationships. As someone shared with me, my heart did what it was designed to do and because of that, I was blinded by the red flags and reality.

"Unbreakable Bonds" - I celebrated my friends. But I realize there are times when I could have been a better friend. We bring different types of support to each other, and I missed opportunities to show support in the way that I can because I was so caught up in being broken hearted, trying to navigate my next career steps, and focusing on how to stretch a new salary. I vow to be better.

Basically, my writing has helped me to heal myself. I'm texting my therapist less often during the week, I'm becoming accustomed to single life and finding ways to distract myself during those lonely moments, I've apologized to friends who I have hurt, I am not giving away content that I have deemed exclusive, and I'm grateful for my new role that requires my best instructional lens without the stress of being the principal.

I owe gratitude to every reader who has shared, liked, and/or commented on my writing. Those of you who have sent private messages, emails, or texts that I was "speaking your language", and those who simply read out of support.

Train of Thought isn't going anywhere soon, but you can expect more Beyond the Blog short stories series. Once you have subscribed, you have access to any new series for one year. Each time I release a new story, the access fee will increase because you will have access to more content. So if you've been thinking about joining the Beyond the Blog series, now is the best time. Feel free to subscribe through the blog site or directly through the payment methods shared in my previous blog.

Thinking of more ways to connect with you,

Debricca Delores