Through their Eyes

Ava: "You are a very enthusiastic auntie.

London: "You are very caring, loving and very rich! You please us very much."

Eli: "Toot is Toot"

One of my former principals had us complete an activity where we worked with a partner and asked the simple question “Who Are You?” Partner B had to provide a one-word answer and then Partner A repeated the question, and this went on for one minute and then the partners switched. The purpose of the exercise was for us to realize that we are working with people from different backgrounds and experiences and more importantly that we typically describe ourselves by what we do, not who we are.

Before that exercise, if someone asked, “who are you,” I would say a teacher, or leader, or someone who is detailed oriented, or self-driven. I did not realize that those phrases described things that I did but not WHO I am.

NOW if someone asks, I will say that I am the daughter of a king, a mother, a sister, a daughter, a survivor, a friend, an aunt, a storyteller, a Devastating Diva of Delta Sigma Theta… I think you understand.

But lately, I've been feeling lost, like I don't really know who I am anymore. I can name all those adjectives to describe who I am, but I'm not sure when I went from feeling comfortable in my own skin to wanting to jump out of it every other day.

I find myself ruminating over what "I lost" in love, health, and life. Sometimes it's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. What I needed was to be reminded that I am more than the sum of my failures and that I've survived everything that seemed like it was sent to break me.

Seeing myself through their eyes...

"If I had to choose a one word to describe you during our college years as line sisters (and still to this day), it would be genuine. As line sisters, I quickly learned that I didn't have to guess or wonder about your opinion or ideas about something because you were a straight-shooter.... but your genuine heart is what stood out the most."

“Beautiful, resilient, strong, intelligent, witty, charismatic….all words to describe my college roommate and my bestest friend in the whole wild world. She's my strength, encouragement, listening ear, & shoulder to lean on through all of my ups and downs. No matter what she has going on, she always makes time to be there for others. All this to say….”Deb” is a jewel and anyone who has the pleasure to be in her company will truly be blessed by her presence.”

“As a breast cancer survivor, she has faced and overcome a range of emotions that many of us can only imagine. Her journey is one that reflects the challenges of battling both the physical and emotional aspects of a life-changing diagnosis. Debricca displayed bravery that left a lasting impression on all of us. With strength and clarity, she informed her staff that she would begin treatment immediately. As a leader, she set an example for all of us, showing that even in the hardest of times, you can find strength, maintain your purpose, and continue moving forward.”

I don't know how many times I smiled after reading how they see me. I expected that they would say something kind because they knew I was asking for the general purpose of writing a blog. But I also know that their feelings are sincere.

I appreciate that I can depend on them to remind me that this tough season won't last. It also brings me joy to know that even when going through my own dark times, I can still be a light for others.

"Debricca is always available to lend a listening ear. She is on the 50 yard line in my winning season and sitting next to me on the pew when I need to talk to God. She is the vault for my secrets and on the corporate board for my life's decisions. She has been the Denise to my Claudia Joy for over thirty years. She is my best friend."

It's been interesting, to say the least. I've made difficult, yet necessary decisions, that didn't make sense in the natural. I have had to lean heavily on my support system to have a very important need met, and I have had to sit with the emotions that came with all of those things.

A friend helped me see things differently after noticing I’d make comments about not being a complete idiot or actually knowing a few things about my new job. They told me I just need to accept that I wasn’t the right fit for previous roles I had, for reasons that have nothing to do with my skills set. I’m adding that to the list of things I’m processing.

"Debricca is an understanding friend who always listens without judgment. She is incredibly attentive, noticing even the smallest details that others might overlook. Her patience is unmatched, always giving people the time they need to express themselves. Whenever someone is struggling, she offers support with kindness and compassion. With Debricca as a friend, you always feel valued and heard."

It's amazing how life's unpredictable experiences can change the way you see yourself.